Ms Know It All

I'M BACK - COMPASSION FOR CHRONIC PAIN SUFFERERS

2010-08-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

IT'S been months since I've written. I have been sick for a good 8 months and it has changed my perception of what chronic pain can do to a person. Most of us want to run to a doctor when we have a pain. We reach for the pain meds, maybe the alcohol, any strong medications - whatever it takes to take away the horrendous and incessant pain away. It works for awhile. At the same time, the mind, mood and relationships that have always been stable have now become something difficult to deal with.
I had a pretty rough time these last 8 months. Got a severe case of Shingles. Shingles is the adult version of chickenpox. If you've had chickenpox, the virus stays in your nerve endings - basically in the spinal column - Then, under certain conditions, i.e., stress being the number one cause, bingo, the virus (herpes zostra or varicalla) gets activated and comes out with a vengeance - giving the unsuspecting victim...SHINGLES! . Other causes for this dastardly disorder are a weakened immune system - many times this is caused by medications. If you are having chemo or radiation, your immune system is weakened and you can easily contract shingles. Aging is also considered a factor, perhaps because it often weakens the immune system.
No matter what the cause, once you've had it, it is unlikely you will ever forget it. It was the most painful thing I ever had. At least, in childbirth, you have something to show for it and the pain ends. With Shingles, the pain does not always end after the blisters disappear. For me, I was one of the unlucky ones and got what is known as Post Herpetic Neuralgia, or After Shingles pain. This pain affects the nerve endings, as does Shingles. And, it doesn't let up. It kept me awake at night. I searched high and low for creams, sprays, pills - anything that would lessen the constant agony. I couldn't work and had to go on disability. I tried - but the medications either knocked me out or the pain did. For a former workaholic, this was an additional torture.
After 8 months, the pain is beginning to subside. It is at least, tolerable and I can write again and now seek work again. The positive side is it made me realize what chronic pain can do to one's psyche. I found myself depressed - losing my sense of humor (an unheard of thing for me - who can always make a joke of something), and unable to function. I laid on the couch, moaned and watched t.v. Pretty boring. It was hard to read and sleeping was so difficult. I would wake up every hour to put something on the area so I could try to get some rest. I lost weight (the only positive) as I had no appetite. Thank heavens for friends and family members who got my medications and tried to humor me. I don't think I could have gotten through the rough patches without them.
Because of the pain, I found myself seriously depressed. I have never really been depressed in my life - a few sad incidences, but nothing like this. One of the medications I took, Lyrica, sent me into a deep depression and I became close to suicidal. When I found out it was a direct side effect of the medication, I stopped it immediately and the depression cleared up in a few days. That was scary. And, the doctors never said anything about this side effect. I had to research this myself. Other medications either did not work or just knocked me out. There was so little to take for this after shingles pain.
Eventually, I found some creams and a wonderful spray at the health store that worked for me. I increased my intake of B vitamins - a must if you have shingles. Took some lysine as well. I found other items for this pain that might be able to help you. If you want to email me, I will respond.
But, a major result of all this is I have gained overwhelming compassion for those in chronic pain for whatever reason And, now, when I treat people in my psychotherapy practice, I am much more attuned to that physical pain and how it takes a toll on your mental health. So, don't be hard on those who have chronic pain. It affects every part of your being.
Be Well!!

AMERICANS HAVE NO MANNERS!!!

2009-09-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS AMERICA???!!!.

I had a friend from law school who said something that made quite an impression on me and that was, “IF YOU LOSE YOUR MANNERS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE LEFT?”

I thought about that for a long time – still do – and he was right. What are you if you have lost all your manners. Well, America, we seem to have lost our manners. Congressmen are okay with yelling out at the President, showing disrespect. Talk show hosts incite seditious actions and rioting. Try holding a town meeting and see if anyone can speak without the ill mannered yelling and screaming. And, don’t get me started on sports figures or rap artists! Civil discourse has become a thing of the past. And where has it all gotten us? NOWHERE!!

We hate each other more. We are more divisive than I can remember. During the ‘60s (which I remember well), there was incredible separation among people, with families dividing over their support for the Vietnam War. It was not pleasant, but Congress and the media never acted out the way they do now. There was some level headedness and at least a semblance of respect being shown for the ‘loyal opposition.’ Yes, there was anger, but no one ever suggested that the Presidents were Socialists or Communists or Nazis. Yes, we did have some names for Johnson and Nixon, but it was never like this. There is something more evil lurking in the vocal expressions of Americans these days and especially in the media. I hold them responsible for their refusal to act like professionals or even to just have manners and promote some intelligent analysis or maybe just tell the truth.

Our country is again filled with hatred and the only voice of civility seems to be a President who is being pilloried because of his race and his promise of change. Do I agree with all Obama has offered – no, I can think for myself. But, apparently, many Americans cannot. I grieve for my country that has lost its ability for rational, critical thinking skills and its total lack of manners.

You can disagree. That is the greatness in our country. We are supposed to be able to disagree without fear of reprisals or stigma. But, not now, Right wing speakers are literally advocating death to ‘liberals’ and those who differ. This is not America. This is not Democracy. That is fascism. That is hatred and will ultimately destroy our great country. Of course, democracy was an experiment to begin with. It’s not very old and perhaps, man cannot repress his base urges and overcome his prehistoric testosterone levels and we will all ultimately revert back to cavemen – unable to communicate at all. But, that’s probably how the uncivil, ill-mannered want it. That way they get control and know how to manipulate the average American.

When did all this start? Who knows. Perhaps, it has been going on forever; it just wasn’t as public as it is now. With the internet and all is machinations, the enormous amount of media outlets that now exist and the lack of self censorship among everyone these days, it could be that there is now the opportunity for everyone to say whatever without fear of any reprisals. The outlets may not have existed before – but then again, there was some self discipline.

And, maybe, ultimately, that’s it – NO CONSEQUENCES. You can be a criminal and get publicity, along with appearances on Oprah and other talk shows; get a book published even if you can’t write, so the world can know about your troubled life and why you were a drug addict who acted like a criminal and they can all feel sorry for you. You can be an OJ and get away with murder. You can be Congressman and get millions of dollars from constituents for disrespecting or maligning a President. You can be a lying, pill-popping talk show host who bad mouths anyone he disagrees with and becomes a powerful driving force behind a political party. NO CONSEQUENCES. You can lie, cheat, steal, disrespect, even murder these days and what do you get – Rewarded for it.

With all these Americans spouting Christianity and equating it with being American, I would think they might just want to act more Christian instead of like spoiled, uneducated, self consumed and ill mannered children.

FIND YOUR MANNERS AMERICA. YOU DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH EACH OTHER, BUT HAVE THE DECENCY TO LISTEN. IF YOU CAN’T – WELL DO SOMETHING ELSE TO SATISFY YOUR UNBRIDLED AND OUT OF CONTROL ID.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITHOUT HEALTHCARE REFORM?

2009-09-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are 'so afraid' that the government is going to tell you how to handle your healthcare - please read.

First off, if you happen to have insurance right now, insurance executives, CEOs, CPAs, attorneys, are guiding your healthcare. Yes, they are determining IF you get care, how much will be paid, if you are even entitled to get any care and if they can deny care because it doesn't meet their protocols or medical necessity criteria. Everytime they deny care or limit your care, the executives pocket a lot of money. The CEOs of all the major healthcare companies each pocketed anywhere from 13 million dollars to 26 million $$ last year. So much for a recession for them. How did they do that? Lots of ways, but the ones that hit you the most was by raising your premiums and denying care along with negotiating and paying incredibly low fees to hospitals and doctors.

You have large companies deciding your healthcare and continuously finding new ways to deny your care, as well as making it difficult and painful for doctors to deal with them. In fact, more and more providers (doctors, etc.) are now refusing to join insurance panels. That means you are on the line for the cost if you choose an out of network provider. Of course, you can decide on your doctor - you just have to pay through the nose. The insurance companies decide which doctors they will pay for. So you do not get to choose now.

As far as this stupid, stupid, stupid (can I say it again) death panel rumor, if there is any death panel, it would be the current state of insurance companies who can deny your care and hasten your death. There are plenty of cases where this is true. I bet you even know someone where that has happened.

As for a public policy, the doctors I have spoken to all take Medicare and say it is the best and easiest for them. There is NO governmental police force coming in and telling them how to handle their patients. The MDs are actually free to practice medicine. On the other hand, the insurance companies manage cases on a daily basis and doctors have to ask permission everytime they want anything done before it can be done. Okay, it's not government interference, it's corporate interference. And, remember, corporations do not care about you first and foremost. They care about their bottom line and how much they will pocket - even if it is at your expense.

If there is no public policy in the health reform act, this is what will happen:
1) Your insurance policies will increase - they already went up by 87% since 2000. They are already talking about taking 20%-40% of your paycheck in premiums.
2) Insurance companies will find more ways to restrict your care.
3) Parity laws take effect in 2010, so insurance is now making their medical necessity criteria more stringent in order to find ways to deny care for those seeking mental health treatment or substance abuse treatment.
4) Your rights for healthcare will be restricted and medications that are not generic will be more difficult to fill and more expensive.

If this is what you want, which amounts to actually NO competition in the marketplace, keep being shills for the insurance companies. They and the right wing media pundits who do not think are using you to inflate their pockets. I wish people would read this and understand what is really going on. Why would people march through the streets to deny their own healthcare? It is beyond me.

If you are so dead set against any kind of public policy and government 'interference', I suggest you pay for your own police force, your own fire department (remember, if you are late for your premium your house could burn down), your own garbage collection, street cleaning, roads, and any kind of legal recourse you might have against someone who wrongs you - afterall, the justice system is also a public 'interference'. Oh, and forget about your Medicare or Social Security as you age. Let your kids take care of you.

CLARIFYING HEALTH CARE REFORM ISSUES

2009-08-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

FIRST ISSUE: “What is this Death Squad Garbage?”

My first blog was in defense of managed care (see below). Now I need to defend a Public Policy option and the need to have a liberal and more cost effective health plan for every American. I will start off by dismissing and clarifying this ‘death squad’ issue that is utterly ridiculous and an out and out scare tactic.

There is so much misinformation coming from the ‘money grubbers’ out there and a lot of right wingers. There is no such bill or even suggestion of a ‘death squad’ coming to anyone’s home and deciding your mortal fate. The section in this bill, which was put into Medicare initially by a Republican years ago, refers to paying for consultation for those who would like to have more information about ‘end of life’ issues.

Having to deal with this issue on a regular basis with clients, let me inform you straight up, this is such an important issue that everyone should know about their options when they are young and in good health. What does it mean? It does NOT mean that anyone is going to put you to terminal sleep (even if they think you deserve it).
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It DOES mean you have the right to discuss and plan for yourself in the event that something unexpected happens to you. What if you end up in a coma with tubes attached, you have no quality of life and your care costs your family their entire savings. This happens way too often, unfortunately. What do you want done? You are not able to speak for yourself at this time. So, someone will speak for you – it could be someone you hate or never trusted. But, because YOU have never had any counseling on end of life type issues, and YOU have never planned for this while alive and kicking, YOU have now relinquished your right to determine how you want to be taken care of.

Do you want to be kept alive by all means possible? Do you not want extraordinary measures taken? Who will your medical advocate be? Do you have a living will? An ‘advanced directive’?

If you do not have the answers or the documents that answer these questions, then you would/could benefit by sitting down for free with a consultant who can inform you of options and help you determine how you want your life to be. I have an advanced directive. No death squad came to my door forcing this on me. In fact, I had to pay an attorney to draft one up.

So, now that everyone is screaming and believing Sarah Palin’s out and out fabrications, this will be removed and YOU get to pay for any consultation on this issue. Good for you- you get to support lawyers. Doesn’t that make you a proud American?

Next blog – coming soon – will be on explaining what will happen if no Public Policy Option is passed.

DOES ANYONE KNOW ENGLISH????

2009-04-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

There’s Twitter and MySpace and Facebook and chatroom after chatroom, besides your regular emails where you can say whatever you want however you want to say it. Because of this, it has come to my attention that nobody can write (or speak) proper English anymore Here all these people complain about Mexicans crossing the border, but they can speak English better than most of the Americans I have been reading. It’s pathetic. Besides the abbreviations, which you have to spend an hour figuring out, there is a question of grammar. It’s like these chatters are saying, ‘who cares if my grammar sucks. I’m so important that however I say it is okay.” (Of course, they would actually be writing it in abbreviations and more like –“ IDC, TBFU, I can say whatever I want.”

Phooey, I tell you!! We have created an entire culture of narcissistic, entitled idiots who do not know a verb from an adjective and don’t even talk to them about subject and predicate. They’ll never get that. It's bad enough that our educational system has gone down the tubes with kids graduating from high school with a perfunctory ability to read and write these days and having to go to a Community College to take a remedial writing class before they can take a college course. But, when they say things like “I HAD WENT…” Oh, save me. This phrase makes me want to pick up my Strunk and White and slap someone across the head with it.

For those of you who think this is correct English, think again. Try I had gone, he had gone, you had gone, or you went, we went, they went. You don’t use had with went. Where did you learn to say this??? . I even heard some teacher using the phrase, ‘he had went’ on tv the other day. I am going to puke. Nobody corrects them. Every statement, no matter how inane or incorrect is just accepted.

This is not okay, I tell you. IT’S NOT OKAY. You sound stupid. Your family sounds stupid. You make everyone around you look stupid. Your friends must be stupid too. Learn how to speak, read and write English correctly!!! If not, I am going to had went crazy!!!!

SOCIALISM VS. CAPITALISM – MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE

2009-04-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

What do you think this definition refers to? “ An economic and social system under which essential industries and social services are publicly and cooperatively owned and democratically controlled with a view to equal opportunity and equal benefit for all.”

Sounds pretty democratic doesn’t it. Well, my friends, that is the definition of Socialism.

Socialism advocates government ownership and control of natural resources, basic industries, banking and credit institutions, and public utilities. If we had that, which we will, this mess caused by a capitalistic, greedy, unregulated banking industry would not have happened. The current administration is trying to correct this monetary fiasco by taking control. Most everyone seems to be giving high fives on this. Yet there are those who scream SOCIALISM – as if it were a death knell to America. This is so far from the truth as to be laughable.

One of the biggest problems these days is that the media and Congress keep excoriating (look it up) Socialism as if it was this venal system that may invade the US. Just an FYI, readers, socialism has, is and will always be a part of the US way of life. In fact, it is now what people are begging for. The difference is, it’s been the large corporations who are making a stink about our heading toward ‘socialism’. Yet, it is because they are getting TAX dollars that these corporations are surviving. That, my friends, is socialism.

Free enterprise or capitalism works just fine as long as those who propound it are getting government funds. It’s a joke. There is not one, not one large corporation in the country (at least not that I know of) that does not get taxpayer funds for some project. These companies would not survive if they did not get money from the government – your money. Of course, they scream the loudest. If true capitalism prevailed, why would these big honchos need to smooze Congressman, give them money to get elected and sponsor them for many a special outing? They wouldn’t. They do it so laws will be passed in their favor (not true Capitalism or Democracy) and so they will get preferential treatment when it comes to getting government funds.

Let’s get one things straight, SOCIALISM IS NOT COMMUNISM. Democratic socialism is the form of government that respects its citizenry and has humane policies. Why, in this, the richest country (or at least it was) can we not treat our citizenry humanely? Why do we equate someone having healthcare, a good education and a safe environment as the right of only those who work and pay taxes – and even that isn’t always the case.

Labor unions, women’s right, the right of the disabled, an 8 hour work day, overtime pay, health coverage are all considered Socialist reforms. If you want true CAPITALISM and FREE ENTERPRISE, get ready to lose all your benefits and for those who want to know why no one helps you in your time of need, know that CAPITALISM does not promote assisting those less fortunate. It’s every person for himself. If you believe in no socialist reforms, think about what your life would really be like. You might want to rethink your political as well as your religious convictions. A nice blend of capitalism and socialism may be the only way to go to survive in a healthy, caring country.

STOP BEING SO STUPID!!!

2009-03-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

STUPID FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS AND ANGRY AMERICANS!!!

I know I am not alone in expressing my anger and frustration over the bail out. I am a big Obama fan and am thrilled the Republicans did not get elected again. I am angry at the way those so called ‘conservatives’ messed up the financial situation along with the moral fiber of this country for the last 8 years. And, to hear them pontificate about how irresponsible the current bail out package is is laughable, considering that the Bush administration opened the US coffers to their buddies and told them to dig in. And, they all did – including Ms. Conservative Sarah Palin.

But, that said, I still see that the current package has minimal oversight just like the previous bailout package did. Why are they now screaming about the AIG execs getting millions in bonuses. Those in charge could have and should have prevented that when AIG got the bail out initially. And, what about these banks- still no oversight.

I want to know why the banks continue to raise our interest rates when we are bailing them out with our money. The bankers have already proven how irresponsible and utterly stupid they are by how they handled their accounting and yet, they still want us to pay more. If they were smart at all, they would lower the interest rates on credit cards for everyone and get the credit business moving again.

In fact, the government should demand that banks set a maximum percentage they can charge – like 10% - on any and all transactions. What is this business with 24% or 36%!!! You can get a better deal with a loan shark.

To not address this issue is another oversight by inept politicians and greedy bankers – and a get rich quick card for the banks and a ‘screw you’ to the taxpayer.

So, scream, holler, write your Congress person. Don’t stand for less oversight. Don’t stand for banks taking you for all they can get. They need us!!! We have laid down and let AIG, COUNTRYWIDE, FANNIE MAE, FREDDIE MAC AND ALL THE BANKS, just roll over on us. If they are giving away our money, these institutions need to start giving back to those who are saving them.

Before too many people get really, really angry and don’t care what they do – the government and bankers need to become human and above all, STOP BEING SO STUPID!!!

RUDENESS AND INCONSIDERATION - GROWING FAST

2009-02-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

I was watching American Idol the other day and was overwhelmed by the utter rudeness and self centeredness of the contestants. Now, I realize they are relatively young (but not that young) they all want to be famous and their narcissism is blossoming full out, but it brought to mind how inconsiderate people are these days. And, it seems to be expanding exponentially.

For example, you're in the grocery store, there is hardly enough room for one cart, let alone two. You want to pass by another person and politely say excuse me. What happens! The other person just stands there looking at the shelves without any regard whatsoever that there is another person there or that anyone else might be shopping at THEIR grocery store chain. They don’t move!!! You are polite, they still don’t move. They are not deaf – they are just inconsiderate. So, you move their cart and they get indignant – ever happen to you? People’s inconsideration and rudeness seems to be quite evident in grocery stores, not just on the roadways. I’m sure you have your own fond remembrances.

And, if you live in an apartment building, you surely have been subject to ultimate rudeness. You may even be one of the inconsiderate. Clothes washing late at night/early in the morning that disturbs other tenants, smoking in common areas that goes into another’s apartment, playing loud music with the base turned up so that the floors shake at all hours of the day and night. When you ask for some consideration, you get, “oh, I’m sorry.” That lasts about 2 minutes before all the noise starts up again.

Then there are those who think that they must blast their music so loud in their own cars that your car, two car lengths in front, starts to vibrate. The only solace is you know their eardrums will go at an early age and they will suffer from deafness eventually.

Even in the public library where it used to be a sacrosanct spot for people to read and have some quiet. Now, the librarians speak in a tone that could be heard in the next county. Whassup with dat???

Yeah, I sound old and cranky. Well, I am getting crankier all the time from watching any politeness and consideration for others leech out of the human condition. (Take a look at leech in the dictionary – means bloodsucker.) If this keeps up, I’m going to run them down with my grocery cart – so there!!!

ELECTION WITHDRAWAL AND THE UPCOMING HOLIDAYS

2008-11-10T16:39:00.001-08:00

ELECTION WITHDRAWAL AND THE APPROACHING HOLIDAYS

The election is over. The good guys won- in my opinion. But, I’ve noticed a big hoopla and then a giant let down now that the excitement is over. Palin has retreated into the ice – and is still counting her clothes, along with her husband and her children’s clothing. (I must give a shout out thank you to Palin for running – without her, we might have lost.) McCain is taking a much needed vacation – no doubt searching for his lost integrity – or maybe just another beauty queen. Bush is doing his best to ram through immoral deregulation allowing Uranium to be mined in the National Parks before his last day in office. (Who could go hiking again in Bryce or Zion after they mine for toxic substances?)

The reality of this administration’s mess of the last 8 years is sinking in hard. With the auto industry going belly up, the war in Iraq draining us at the rate of 10 billion dollars a month (can you count that high?), the trillion dollar bail out to Wall Street, millions out of work, and the holidays on the way, it’s easy to understand that the glow of the election victory is fading fast.

Now after that downer, what can you do? If you are still working or someone in your family is working, I strongly suggest that you seek out the company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP). The EAP is a free and confidential resource that offers a limited amount of counseling sessions to you and family members. It helps to get another person’s perspective on how you can best handle the current financial climate. AND IT’S FREE.

There are other things you can do to lift your spirits besides shopping. Find a way to express your love and holiday spirit without spending lots of money. Bake, create, share. Regift something you have to someone who might like it. Surely you have books at home you have finished reading – give them to someone who likes to read. You’ll save money and feel better about sharing yourself with others.

If you have any ideas for how to make the Holidays joyous yet inexpensive, please write in and share it with my readers.

CAVEAT EMPTOR ON ELECTING THE REPUBLICANS

2008-09-19T09:16:00.001-07:00

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE – WHAT THE PUBLIC BELIEVES

I’m not sure about you, but I’m getting tired of politics and the vitriol and lies that are being bandied about on a daily basis by all sides and the media. Doesn’t anybody tell the truth anymore. Is everyone so narcissistic and power hungry that they will do and say anything?. The problem I have for the most part is how much the public believes the garbage that is thrown out.

I will profess, I have been a news/political junky for most of my life. And, to be fair, I am a Democratic leaning voter. But, I do not want to listen anymore. John McCain continually lies as does his running mate about what they are going to do and what they’ve done. There are women who used to lambast Hillary Clinton and other women who were ambitious as being anti family. Well, you couldn’t have a more anti-family woman that Sarah Palin who has literally left her children to fend for themselves (of course with the help of a nanny, housekeeper and cook) due to her unbridled ambition. . She dropped her Downs Syndrome child off after 3 days for someone else to raise and she has spent little time with him – except in front of the cameras. The hypocrisy is overwhelming to me. She has ambition but no intelligence to accompany it – lots of hot air.

She is not a reformer – nor a maverick anymore than McCain is. Their backgrounds show them as greedy and non-reformers. These are Karl Rove’s words and he, the genius he is, knows how to manipulate the public to believe any garbage he throws at them. And, there is no end to the greed of Madison Avenue that they will contribute to the lies on either side with their ads.

People say they want ethics in government, they want transparency and honesty and yet the public continues to vote for liars, cheats (both McCain and Palin have cheated on their spouses) and big business’ interest to the detriment of their own. Has anyone seen what the current governor/President has done to our economy and our reputation around the world. Does anyone out there realize what has happened to the housing and manufacturing markets?

Wake Up America. It is time for change and voting for the same old people will get you the same old results.

PS – Palin wants the Presidency so much, if she gets the VP position, she will soon find a way to have McCain declared incompetent so she can take over. CAVEAT EMPTOR.

DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK TOO THIN.

2008-08-19T16:56:00.000-07:00

FOR REAL WOMEN!!!

Whenever a woman looks into a mirror, the question that permeates her brain is:
“Do I look fat in this?” It’s not even, “Is this an attractive outfit.” No, it’s always, “does it make me look fat”. Inevitably, the outfit is thrown off and another and another are tried on with the same plaintive moan – ‘too fat, too fat’.

I ask you, why aren’t women all over the U.S. asking the real question…”Does this make me look too thin.” I’M SERIOUS HERE. Afterall, look at how unfeminine and unhealthy the likes of most actresses look. Not only are they starving themselves to look thin on camera, they are doing it to please men. But, when I speak with most men, they want a woman with some meat on their bones - a woman who is a real woman, not a coat rack – and a skinny rack at that.

And, who are these men who prefer skinny women anyway. They are producers and directors that never grew up – wanting undeveloped females gloating over them. Or, they are gay men, who prefer to have their women look like young boys. (Yeah, I know, this isn’t politically correct, but it happens to be true.)

So, it is time for women, real women, to revolt. Ask the question: “Does this outfit make me look too thin.” And, if it does honey, put on that flowered print dress and do yourself proud.

FORGET THE STATINS AND GET OFF THE COUCH

2008-07-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

FORGET THE STATINS AND GET YOUR KIDS MOVING!

I am sure you all have heard the latest, the docs are now planning on giving statin drugs to kids as young as 8 – probably younger because they might be at risk for high cholesterol.
Let me inform everyone that I am so against this you cannot believe and for many reasons.

Cholesterol is NOT, I repeat NOT, the cause of heart problems. If that were the case people like Tim Russert, who was under doctors care and on Statins, would still be with us – along with people like Jeff Fixx. Triglyceride levels and Blood viscosity levels (which is rarely checked) are more of the culprits for potential heart problems than your cholesterol levels. Docs are watching the wrong indicators!!!

Cholesterol levels were decided by DRUG companies NOT by DOCTORS. It was and continues to be a public relations campaign so that more people will be put on Statins which will increase the Drug companies’ profits. And, it has worked. The Drug companies, namely Merck, did a campaign years ago to lower the level through faulty studies so that they could get more people to use their drugs. Check it out, it’s true. And, now that they have saturated the adult market and mind, they are ready to start on kids – ah drugs forever!!!

Statins have deleterious side effects. Low cholesterol is linked to higher rates of depression in all ages. Statins cause muscle and skeletal issues. With a growing child, you do not want anything to interfere with their growth pattern. Of course, if your kid becomes depressed and their bones ache, what the heck, give them some more drugs for that – you wouldn't want to cut into drug company profits now.

Over the last 20 years, kids spend more time inside than out and gym classes were cut (along with music and art) for some reason. Clearly, less gym and other curriculum classes have not made our kids any smarter. In fact, we are getting dumber and dumber per the statistics. So, how about we: 1. Put back GYM in the curriculum – EVERYDAY.
2. Remove all vending machines unless they contain water or fruit.
3. Get kids away from the electronics (i.e., tv, computer, cell phone) for at least 2 hours/day and have them play outside if possible. Too many electromagnetic devices are unhealthy for the system and besides, it promotes static action and bigger behinds.
4. Take lunch to school (and work) 2-3 times a week or more.

The solutions are rather simple. We just want to make them more complicated which results in the belief that if we throw more money and more drugs at the problem, it will go away. It just makes it worse and more prevalent. Make the change - today.

GETTING OLD IS NOT FOR SISSIES

2008-06-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

As Bette Davis said, "Old Age Ain't for Sissies." And, boy was she right. The joke of it all is that it will effect everyone eventually, if you're lucky, so why is there so much discrimination about aging?

In a recent Supreme Court case, it was ruled that age discrimination was quite clear in a firing of a group of employees, all but one were...are you ready for this, over the age of 40. 40!!! Children are still living with their parents these days until they're almost 40 and many have moved back home in their late 30s and 40s because they can't make it. I assure you, their parents, who are doing the supporting, are over 40. Just how are the parents to support these 30 year olds if they can't make a living????

There is an inordinate amount of research being done ( by those over 40) in the area of aging and how to prolong life. Americans now have an average life span that exceeds 78 yrs of age. (In Afghanistan, the average life span is about 44 yrs of age. ) The fastest growing segment of the population is centenarians. Yes, those over 100 years of age, with the second fastest growing segment being 85 plus. Who will support them if age discrimination continues.

The American, youth oriented populace needs to start realizing that age discrimination is going to bite them in the butt big time. Just how are people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond, who are certainly healthy and able, supposed to make a living and support themselves and their families. The entire system is so convoluted. People are marrying later. They are having children in their 40s and 50s now. They are buying first homes later in life and working as long as they can because there is hardly a way to save for 'retirement' nowadays. And, yet age discrimination begins at the age of 40!!! This is appalling and just plain stupid.

Will those in their 20s and 30s be willing to support everyone 40 and beyond or even 60 and beyond? I doubt it. Most of them cannot pay back their own student loans. So, to all of you who think anyone over 40 (which is supposed to be the new 20) can't be trusted or is old, what will happen to you at 40? How will you survive and contribute to this world?

We don't want our officials to be too young. We want them to have some wisdom and life experience. Those under 40 that I know and deal with have little life experience and certainly have no idea how to advise or deal with those who have emotional issues dealing with grief or aging or even child rearing. They are not the ones I want to ask for advice for myself.

This nation is hurting itself financially, emotionally, spiritually and more if we continue this inane age discrimination thinking. All ages need to embrace and respect each other. If you can work well into your 100s, bless you. Embrace the wisdom of your elders and their life experience. You will gain from it and our nation will gain from it. If we allow everyone to contribute to the best of their abilities as long as they can, this country will be far better off economically and emotionally.

FEELING BETTER THE EASY WAY

2008-06-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you feel blah, don’t feel like exercising, and just want to pig out. You know that if you pig out, you will feel worse. Well, here are some techniques that have been verified to work for the BLAHS and for minor cases of depression and anxiety:

GET UP AND DO SOMETHING. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, do something energetic. Force yourself. Have your friend, mate, kid, get you up to walk for 10 minutes. It is amazing the change in your brain that occurs and the consequent change in your mood and feelings. You may have to force yourself and be dragged, but you will be glad you did it.

DO NOT EAT SWEETS. Most of us have this urge to eat chocolate or something fattening as a so called ‘pick me upper’ when we are feeling a little low, especially in the middle of the day. (I’m guilty of this too.) But, it is actually the worst thing to do and makes you feel more sluggish and tired – even irritable. Instead, grab for some nuts or vegetables. No coffee, not even fruit. A hard boiled egg works better. (I’m sure most people will not take this suggestion to heart – but I had to give it anyway.) (Oh, and need I even add, don't do any drugs or alcohol to feel better.)

DO SOMETHING TO ACTIVATE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR BRAIN. When you feel anxious, nervous, upset, typically only one side of your brain is firing – and it’s not the calming part. In order to calm down your nerves, try this fun little exercise: put out your arms and close and open your right hand, then close and open your left hand. Do this in a moderate tempo and make sure one hand is open before closing the other. Do this about 20 times and you will feel less anxious – guaranteed. You can do it with your feet to – if putting your arms out would interfere with the person in front of you. Put one foot up and down and then the other foot up and down. Easy enough to do.

TAKE B VITAMIN COMPLEX AND OMEGA 3 DAILY. Since your brain is about 60% fat, you need to make sure it gets the right nutrients to feed that fat. Omega 3 will do it for you. Take a daily dose of Omega 3 and a good Vitamin B complex – considered the stress vitamin. Take them with meals or you might get sick to your stomach. You might even notice the effect of the B complex (Vit B12; B6, folate), immediately.

PRACTICE FORGIVENESS. Hard as it might be, forgiving yourself and others who may have hurt you is the best way to remove anxiety and feelings of remorse. It may not be easy, but it is definitely worth the effort. Try this one: “I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR JUDGING MYSELF.” Now you can just say that a few hundred times or you can add, “I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR JUDGING MYSELF AS…..(ex. a bad person, a lousy wife, mother, husband, etc.).” Whatever your issue is. It can be quite astonishing the change you feel and the positive energy you send to the world when you forgive yourself and others.

I have other techniques, but these are just a few to get you started. Try them, they’re easy and effective.

Politics and Pain

2008-05-16T16:13:00.000-07:00

Current political jibberish in this country, propogated by the vitriolic Right wing talk show hosts, have set American against American. I went through this during the Vietnam fiasco when parents disowned their children for defying the war and refusing to support it. The boomer generation decided that they wanted a break from the old ways. And, the divide grew wider.
It was an exciting, but disturbing time. Many parents and children never spoke again. Some draft age guys (yeah, we had a draft then) left the country of their birth deciding they didn’t want to die in a stupid war. We find ourselves there again. Only this time, the United States started this travesty. And, it hurts us all, emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually.

In spite of Bush’s promises, oil prices are higher than ever – so this invasion didn’t even work to help the average Joe lower his gas costs. This country is in dire financial condition due to this war of no end. And, the Right wingers in the White House and on the radio talk shows are, once again, inferring that anyone against this war (which is most of the American public) and anyone who believes in Global warming and wants to help the environment is anti-American.
These people do not seem to know the Constitution or the Federalist Papers or anything else about what this country represents. What has happened to our great nation. It has, become the country of Capitalism – not Democracy. They are being equated daily in the media and by the White House. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

People have been lead to believe if it makes money, if it makes you rich regardless of how the gains are gotten or whatever it does to another individual, then it’s okay. If your financial remunerations are achieved by killing others that you don’t like – or even your own countrymen, so be it. These bombastic pundits and hateful politicians (on the Right) have their goals: MONEY and POWER (maybe Sex). Everything else be damned.

So, once again, this country gets torn apart. The forces of MONEY and GREED against the forces of Honesty and Ethics. The Republican party is far from the party of Morality, which they like to espouse. They are clearly the Immoral Party and the Unethical Party, they’ve just got a better patter than the other side. And, the American public, sadly enough, buys the patter and not the Truth.

WHAT MENTAL HEALTH TOPIC DO YOU WANT MORE INFORMATION ON.

2008-05-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

Let me know that you read this blog and what mental health topics might be interested in knowing more about.

The Increase in Mental Illness

2008-04-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have been running into a plethora of severe mental health cases lately and been wondering what is going on. Calls from people who hear voices when there are no people, but are convinced that these voices are real. Others who are sure that people are coming to get them - through vents in the wall. Then there are the manicky ones who talk so fast and furiously that it is impossible to get a word in, let alone understand what they are saying. Oh, and how about the ones that just can’t find anything positive in the world – how sad is that. Depression, anxiety, and severe mental illness are no laughing matter. But, what is happening in the world that my callers seem to have more serious problems than ever before.

It could be the environment. It could be their diet. It could be that people with mental problems used to hide away and not be allowed in the general populace. Now, they are a protected group and are showing up more frequently in the workplace. It is good that those who have serious health issues can make a living someway. If not, who would support them? Our country’s mental health care is not admirable. It consists mostly of a lack of psychiatrist – the ones who can prescribe medications. The MDs who do exist have long waiting lists and, in my experience, most of them are poor providers for the seriously mentally ill. Little is done to understand the problems they face or the pain that mental illness causes families. Psychiatrists typically spend a maximum of 15 minutes with a patient, give them a drug and set another appointment. That’ll be $125 please.

Since all psychotropic medications have pretty serious side effects, it is important that the doctor spend a little time reviewing these with the patient at each visit. As many of the patients are not ‘normals’ (as we say), they may not have the wherewithal to report side effects. So, it’s the doctor’s duty to inquire. The doctors should also inquire about the use of substances, legal or otherwise with all of their patients. Few doctors have any knowledge of the effects of alcohol or drugs and don’t even question their clients. Giving a person who has 3-4 drinks a day an anti depressant or other psychotropic medication could result in a dangerous cocktail. At the very least, it renders the drug useless.

So, why don’t they do it? Why are so many people with serious mental health problems left to languish without proper care? Much of it has to do with our society’s attitude to those who act differently. We have little tolerance for mentally ill people. But, the numbers are growing exponentially each day. We had better get ready for improving mental health treatment both from a medical and therapeutic position.

2008-04-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

I promised myself I would continue to write this blog, even if no one was reading it but me. So, here goes.
I have a question for anyone reading this missive: Can you tell me what success/victory means in the Iraq War? I have been waiting for someone to say exactly what that looks like. But, no. No General, Congressman or President (either Bush or Cheney) has given any explanation of victory.
Does that mean that Iraq becomes a democracy? I laugh. The best we'll get is a Theocracy and then it will look more like Iran. The only real democratic government in the Middle East is Israel and I doubt if another nation in the area even has an idea of how to become a Republic. So, just what would it look like if there is this 'victory.'
Women shedding their burkas and removing veils. No more of their abominable gutteral warbling. Women can drive and go to school. Couples who aren't married can have sex. Homosexuality is allowed. There is equality among the sexes. No more racism between sects. And, of course, the most important one...Capitalism will explode all over Iraq and people can worry about healthcare and where their next paycheck is coming from.
Hmmm, is this a good idea and when will it happen...so they can be just like US.

DANCING WITH THE STARS 2009 STYLE

2008-03-24T14:59:00.000-07:00

HAS BEENS COME TO LIFE ON DWTS.

Dancing with the Stars has popularized many a B rated or unrated star. Who knew half of these people, let alone would want to watch them dance. Marissa Janet Winokur?? Now there was a star that was constantly on the tip of my tongue!!!

But, looking at how the popularity of many a dying star has been revitalized after this show (witness Drew Lachey and Mario Lopez), I can just hear Tom Bergeron now announcing the 2009 line up:

"Dancing with Maksim Chmerkovskiy is the incomparable Hillary Clinton. You may know her as the former Senator from New York, former First Lady of the United States and now former has been Presidential wannabe. She seems to have a lot of rhythm but she comes in about a beat too late. Let's see how her two left feet can really dance."

"And, not to be outdone by his wife, Former President Bill Clinton will be dancing with two time champion, Cheryl Burke. Make sure he puts his hands in the correct position, Cheryl and don't let him tear your dress. As for Hillary - she'll be watching you."

"Dancing with winner, Julianne Hough, is none other than former Vice President, Dick Cheney, who will be carrying his pacemaker with him at all times. We hear he can only turn to the right. Julianne will have her biggest challenge this year for sure. But, with Julianne's talent and Cheney's ability to manipulate any situation to his advantage, who knows what could happen."

"And, adding a bit of color to the mix, dancing with world champion, Tony Dovolani, is Former Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice. A real possibility to make it to the finals but probably not win, as Rice dances circles around everyone, but never quite seems to get the point of the dance. Tony is going to have a time keeping her focused on going from start to finish."

Can hardly wait till next season. Oh, maybe John McCain will be a contestant too, then Cheney won't feel so old.

WEEKLY MUSINGS-OBAMA/WRIGHT/SPITZER

2008-03-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Since I wonder if anyone reads this at all, I thought I would post a few thoughts on the latest political uproars.

SPITZER LAND: Let's start with the Eliot Spitzer fiasco. Spitzer made a stupid, stupid mistake paying for his little love toy - and an expensive toy at that (you don't find that at Toys R Us). But, I say, who cares. You got the money, go ahead, get yourself a hot 22 yr old. Just be safe and don't be stupid enough to let your wife and the rest of the Free World find out. You are a public figure, Eliot. You were a muckraker - and a good one. You should have known better than to get yourself in the deep end of the muck pool. But, if every man who ever paid for sex lost his job and faced possible jail time, well, pretty much every married man in the world would be on the unemployment lines. For those of you who don't get that, married men pay and pay and pay and pay - usually right before and after they beg and beg and beg. Now we have the new Governor of New York who has already admitted to having had affairs, not just his, but his wife's too. He pre-empted the press. So, now nobody cares about who he slept with. Hmmm....is there a lesson here? Admit it before they go rummaging through your history and then nobody cares? Seems that way.

Now, on to Obama's speech about his very vocal minister, the right Reverend Wright. This is another WHO CARES. All of a sudden, white people are concerned that a Black preacher may be saying something against the White folk that could make Black people angry. Get Real. African Americans are angry and they should be. White preachers and politicians have been preaching anti Black rhetoric for years - and still do. And, now, because the White man is concerned that some Black minister is preaching about the bad things Whitey has done to Blackie, it becomes news!!! I, for one, think that Reverend Wright is right. There is still plenty of racism. America has institutionalized racism and, if I were Black, I would be plenty pissed too. Where is the surprise? Oh, I get it, you don't want your possible President hearing things like this. It could taint him. What a pity. Get over yourselves Mr. and Mrs. White. Obama was incredibly courageous in even bringing up the subject, let alone giving a major speech on it. Race is an issue. A big issue in this country. I have not been the biggest Obama supporter. But, after this speech, I realize he is a class act and did not throw an old friend under the bus just to satisfy some upset White media folk. He showed loyalty, bravery and leadership. Even with his youth and questionable experience - he showed leadership and dignity. This is what we need, finally, in the White House. We might just have it with Obama.

So, are you reading this? Let me know.
Ms KnowitAll

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT!!

2008-03-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

YOU DON’T ALWALYS GET WHAT YOU WANT, BUT YOU DO GET WHAT YOU EXPECT.

By now, most people have heard of The Secret, Positive thinking, affirmations, Oprahizing, and all these Laws of Attraction (clearly I have) to be used to get what you want in life. As a therapist and somebody who looks at these motifs and uses them, there is a big flaw or misunderstanding in all of them. CAUSE THEY DON’T ALWAYS WORK – DO THEY??? OR DO THEY?
Many of my clients ask me why they don’t get what they want when they use all these Laws or methods. They try, they affirm, they believe in the law of attraction, but what they say they want they don’t get.

Let me say that these laws actually can work, but they are too often misunderstood and misused. You do attract what you put out, not what you want. In some cases, these two things may be the same, but not all of the time. What you put out into this Universe is energy. This world runs on energy. Even quantum physics and molecular biology now realize that it is all energy and how we use it that is affecting our world.

If the energy you put out, which is mostly in the form of thoughts, is negative, you will get a negative return. Garbage out, garbage in.

Where do these negative thoughts/energies come from? They don’t come from what you want, which is usually pretty positive,. ‘I want to be rich,’ I want to find my soul mate’, I want to find the perfect job’, etc., etc. There is nothing wrong with that. But that is only a small portion of what is going on. That is, literally off the top of your head. It isn’t what lies beneath.
You are like an iceberg- only 10 percent above the water is seen. You consist mostly of what is underneath the water and not seen until the top portion breaks off and what’s below starts to bob to the surface.

What is underneath the water are your expectations and beliefs. What you really believe and expect is what is being put out by your energy out and what you are going to get back into your life.

So, if you say, “I want to find my soul mate.” But underneath you are believing/expecting – I will never really find anybody. Everyone out there is looking for someone else. Why would they want me. I’ve never found one and never will – then your words mean nothing. In fact, what you will attract and get is what your beliefs and expectations are which is NO SOULMATE. You don’t really deserve him/her. You really aren’t worthy or entitled to have it are you?

Same goes for finding the perfect career or even being happy. If you expect that you will not get the job – you won’t. If you expect to not like the person you are going to meet or have this underlying belief that everyone you are going to work with is not up to your standards or doesn’t know as much as you do or whatever it is you have going on, you will not be happy in your job – even if you can fake your way into it cause you’re desperate. You might get it, but you won’t last, you won’t be happy and guess what, the others around you won’t be too happy with your presence in their environment either.

We all want the perfect external situation to manifest in our lives. We think that the perfect job or mate or all the money will cure our internal ills. Sometimes, our sadness or the situation we find ourselves in can be fixed by more money or a change in circumstances.

This is referred to as situational depression. Situations do affect how we feel and act. We have plenty of evidence that proves that. Just look at Hurricane Katrina victims. And, circumstances, often, change our beliefs and expectations about ourselves and the world. Enough negative occurrences and you begin to believe that only bad things will happen. Have a bunch of crappy jobs one after the other or a few rotten, inconsiderate bosses one after the other and you begin to form an opinion and belief that ALL bosses are like this and that is what is going to happen on the next job. So, why bother looking – you already know what you’re going to get – right. WRONG.
I know someone will write and say, ‘but I always say, this time it will be different –this will be the perfect job for me.’ Well, good for you. And maybe the next time it will be different. But look deep inside – into that 80-90 percent that you do your best to not show the world – but comes out anyway. What is that part of you really saying? Is it saying to you: “Yeah, buddy, you can say that the next one will work for you, but you really know it won’t. Success is just not for you. You don’t deserve it. You don’t have the experience, the knowledge and you don’t even like people – so you really think the next time is going to work (ha, I laugh).” If that is what is really going on underneath your positive statements, the likelihood that things will work for you is pretty remote. (Yes, the opposite happens too.)

We will discuss changing those underlying beliefs and expectations in future columns. Stay tuned. But for now, just notice what is happening in your world. If you are receiving those things you want – look at what you believe really believe and expect underneath it all. You will discover the beliefs you are putting out really do coincide with what is coming back to you.

If you find that what is going on in your life is everything you don’t want, you need to spend some time looking deep inside yourself about what you believe and expect to happen. When the inside changes, the outside changes too. If nothing else, you will feel a lot better about yourself and the world you live in. And isn’t that what you do want.

Please note that there are situations and biological reasons that you may feel as you do and these can be helped. We will address more about this later. Just know that if there is garbage within – there will be garbage without. You can’t control everything, but your reaction to it can be controlled.

Other topics to come:
Listening to that inner voice – your true soul voice.
Acting on what you believe.
Accepting yourself and others
Changing those internal beliefs/expectations.
Do you live in yesterday?
How can I change?
Is what others say about me important? (What others say about you does matter. )
What you eat/drink/smoke does affect how you feel.

THE GAS CRISIS - THE CURE FOR OBESITY?

2008-02-29T13:22:00.000-08:00

THE GAS CRISIS COULE BE THE ANSWER TO OBESITY

So is there a positive side to this gas hike crisis? Almost $4/gallon for gas – OH MAH GOD??? Outside of the positive for the oil behemoths making record profits at your expense, could there actually be something POSITIVE for the rest of us? In my pain at the pump, I decided to look for something constructive about this economic reality – and guess what, I actually found it.

First, I must expound on the downside. The rise in oil prices affects everyone and everything. Not only does it just hurt to fill up your gas tank these days, think of the costs to the massive trucking industry- which moves the nations food supply and more. This creates an increase in the cost of basic staples- from milk to toilet paper (you get the connection) and everything in between. If you are reluctant to fill up the gas tank more often, you will take less trips which affects tourism and the restaurant and hotel business. Even the fast food chains get hit. All this can end up resulting in layoffs and higher unemployment payouts.

Unemployment = loss of medical insurance. That can lead to more depression when you can’t pay your bills or properly care for your family. And, you don’t have insurance so you can’t even get the medical/psychological attention you may need. Oh, I could go on, but then I will be terribly depressed AND I did say there was an upside to all this. So, let me get to it.

Higher gas prices typically result in cutting down on travel (I am assuming this, of course). This means less pollution in the air. What a way to clean up the environment, wouldn’t you say? Consider car pooling. Stop using your gas guzzling Humvee. Could this possibly even mean less traffic. Since I live in L.A., just the thought of less traffic excites me.

It also means spending more time at home with the family. I would suggest you make it quality time and not spend it silently in front of the tv. If you don’t have the screaming children that are featured in The Nanny, more downtime at home could result in less stress, resulting in less physical and emotional problems, i.e. less medical bills.

Then there is the increase in the cost of food – which just might result in your spending less on food. Are you aware that there are many people who make ends meet – and do well- living off the healthy food that is thrown in dumpsters. And, I am not referring to the homeless. Restaurants have to throw away perfectly good food because it was put out on someone’s table. The health department requires that whether or not it is touched, once it is out on the table, it must all get dumped after you’ve paid your bill (unless the help eats it). Just think of all the bread and butter and pizza you could survive off of that has been thrown out. How much do YOU throw out after each meal or after a week? How much food do YOU waste?

With the increase in food costs, you can be more discerning and less wasteful. I would suggest you buy as you go. None of this buy in bulk stuff. I realize that some economists tell you to buy in bulk, well I say phooey on that one. You end up spending more, throwing away more and maybe even using more than you otherwise would. So, buy your meals daily or every other day if you can. Your food will be fresher. You will throw away less and consume what you need. You will even discover as you do this, that you will buy less because you will learn what you do and don’t need or even want. Walk to the store. If you must buy for more than a day or two at a time, don’t buy what you aren’t going to consume. And, this goes for things other than food as well. Do you really need a box of staples that will last you a lifetime?

This country’s obsession with over consumption is about to get a good reality check. How much do you need? How many new clothes, shoes and other items made from oil products do you need (anything plastic is a petroleum byproduct). If you want a list of just some of the things made from petroleum check out: http://www.saskschools.ca/~gregory/sask/oilproducts.html (and here I just bought new contact lenses) or www.eia.doe.gov/kids/energyfacts/sources/non-renewable/oil.html.

What’s more, you might even find that this gas crisis results in weight loss for you. If you can walk to the store, you increase your caloric output. The high prices will result in eating less and walking more. Could we have found the answer to our nation’s obesity problem!!???

There is a lot to say on this and I know you can find additional upsides to this situation. Comment and let me know what you think.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE OSCARS?

2008-02-25T08:21:00.000-08:00

POST OSCAR SUMMATION

Since I wrote about the Grammy’s, I feel it is incumbent upon me to write about the Oscars – though there isn’t much to say.

First, the positives. The dresses really were lovely this year. Everyone looked rather classy – no ostrich heads peaking out from underneath someone’s crotch. The stunner of the night for me was Kathryn Heigl. She looked fabulous, and such a tiny waist (must have had a couple of ribs pulled out). Nicole Kidman could have done without that necklace – but still classy. Renee Zellweger looked fabulous in a most elegant dress. She was walking rather slowly across the stage, however. I’m sure any fast moves and her skin tight attire, though very attractive, could have resulted in an amusing fashion faux pas.

I loved Kristin Chenowith's number. Of course, I must be her number one fan, so she can do no wrong.

Now, I am not sure what to say about Oscar winner, Marion Cotillard's dress. Was she a fish or not a fish? I was waiting for the song from The Little Mermaid to accompany her walk to the podium.

The other side of positives: Was this any good?? The bit between Seth Rogen (Dame Judi Dench) and Jonah Hill (Halle Berry) was pretty stupid. Harrison Ford sounded like he had been hitting the sauce before he got to the stage. Tilda Swinton definitely needs to spend a little money on eye make-up before appearing in public.

Absolutely nothing else is memorable – oh, except I never knew Scott Rudin was gay.

Overall, the night was rather boring. I kept switching channels immediately after they announced the winners so as to avoid any annoying speeches. And, since so many of them were accent laden, it made it even more annoying. I think more awards were given to foreigners than at the Golden Globes.

The best part was that there was not a lot of predictability this year – that’s a plus. Jon Stewart, whom I really like, is just not a Billy Crystal. He was okay, but nothing special. Sort of a blase stand up. Thank heavens the writers are back! Can you imagine what it would have been like without them????

The Grammy’s were much more exciting to watch. For an 80th birthday party, it was pretty bland. My mother’s 80th was more fun.

Maybe next year, they could entice Billy Crystal to return. Then there might be a chance for a really memorable Oscar night.

So, tell me what you thought about the Oscars this year.

LOOKING FOR ANSWERS

2008-02-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE??

The shootings that took place last week have put me in a tail spin - along with feelings of minor depression. First, the murder of the therapist in New York by her colleagues’ client. (It wasn’t even her patient.) Secondly, the death of the 6 students at Northern Illinois University by an obviously mentally disturbed young man. And, the question we all have is: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???!!! These types of incidences are happening way too often.

I found I got even more upset by the President’s latest scam to protect his lobbying buddies at the phone companies by insisting that Congress grant the phone companies immunity for doing illegal acts. Of course, he had to say that it was important to national security and that we would all be blown to smithereens if we don’t protect the financial interests of AT&T and others who contribute heavily to the Republicans. Hmmm, how does that relate? It doesn’t!! National security is one thing. Granting limitless favors to protect big business is another. Interesting how this President seems to intertwine the two – invoking fear, more fear, code red, terrorism and alien invasions on behalf of the communications industry. Sort of makes you wonder who really planned 911.

As I consider all of these events, along with the endless war in Iraq, it’s no wonder Americans are losing it. Forces outside of us have taken over. We feel we have so little control. We have a government that is playing mind games with us. We have a media that never (and I mean never) tells the entire story of what is going on. Years later, we find out about cover ups, lies, distortions and the media going along with all of it, never bothering to dig an inch deeper into self serving press releases.

Everyday, another scam or lie is revealed. (Couldn’t it have been discovered beforehand?) Most of us just want to live our lives without any great storm flooding our days. We want health – mental and physical- loving family and friends and we want to contribute in a positive way to the world around us. Most of us don’t care about having millions. It might be nice, but we really want our bills paid, a nice vacation once a year and a feeling of security, both internal and external. And, we don’t want our houses foreclosed on.

As many of you are aware, the Danes are considered the happiest people on the planet. They have a good standard of living, and rank family and friends as their highest priority. They also don’t worry about health care or education – knowing that they will be taken care of. But, in America – where the streets are supposed to be paved with gold – where we can be, do and have anything, we are not that high on the happiness or satisfaction level.

That’s because it is all a lie. We can’t have it all. We hear all these so called famous people telling us ‘don’t give up your dreams.’ In the next breath, they also say, ‘don’t give up your day job.’ Well, eventually, you might have to give up those dreams to stay mentally sane. You might have to look at what is precious to you in life. If it’s fame and fortune – you will never be satisfied. You will never have enough and you will find your mental, physical and emotional health all negatively affected.

No, I am not saying forget where your passion lies. Go after what you want, but sometimes, after years of struggle and unhappiness, you might just want to give it up and go after something attainable.

The killings this past week were done by people considered to have mental health problems. What was not attainable to them? Where did life go wrong for them? What weren’t these people told about themselves? What medications were they on – was it helpful or harmful?

What are you doing for your life, your family, your country to make sure you are mentally and emotionally sound? Think about your daily life, your contribution to yourself and others and how all these types of events are affecting you. Where are your frustrations and aggravations? How are you treating others and vice versa?

The answer, of course, is not to go out and shoot someone. The answer may be in accepting things the way they are and realizing what you can and can’t do and give up what you can’t. Express yourself appropriately-without physical or verbal violence. If you can help change things in some small way, then make sure to do it. Talk to someone about how you are doing. Don’t isolate yourself.

I know this doesn’t answer the dilemmas that face us or even address my initial opening, but it does shed some light on why we are all so frustrated and why some people’s frustration leads to aggressive behavior.

THE GRAMMY'S, NOISE AND MENTAL HEALTH

2008-02-11T12:24:00.001-08:00

For pure talent, there was nothing like the Grammy’s this past Sunday night. It was the most entertaining awards show I have ever seen. The Oscars could take a lesson from them on how to be fun, energetic and not boring. But, as I was watching Kanye West and others perform with a backdrop of electricity, neon light, and ear blowing sound, I couldn’t help but think of the constant over stimulation that we are all subject to these days…especially children and teenagers. And, maybe, just maybe, it is harmful – very harmful, particularly in the long run.

Sure, it was great entertainment and I enjoyed the show, but the loud noise, the barrage of lights on the eyes and brain, the attack on the ears and the nervous system has its downside. (I could turn down the tv – but you couldn’t do it if you were there.)

I know what happens to me when some idiot who apparently has hearing issues, pulls up next to me in his oversized pick up and the music is so loud that my car begins to dance on its own. Yes, that’s right, my car starts to vibrate and my heart begins to race. I am agitated, nervous - even find myself feeling like I’m getting a panic attack.

I understand the connections between loud noise, my ears and my bodily reaction. It is disturbing and physically stressful. But, I’m an adult. What does this do to young children subjected to this onslaught? An infant/toddler exposed to loud noises on a regular basis often develops serious emotional and neurological issues. Afterall, the natural fear we are all born with is to loud noises.

We already know that the high decibel output of rock music has resulted in an increase in hearing loss among young people – who surely will be deaf by the time they’re 60.
The nerve signals in the ears are very sensitive and it doesn’t take much to damage them permanently. Why even sounds above normal speech can do damage. So, what do you think all this rock concerts, computer games, loud tv, etc. does to the ears and the brain?

All kinds of stimuli can temporarily disrupt normal functioning of the brain, either by overloading it with, or by depriving it of, sensory stimulation." (THE OUT OF SYNC CHILD, 1995)

In war torn areas, like the Middle East, children (and adults) subject to the loud barrage of bombs, noises, gunshots and screams develop hypersensitivity, sleeplessness, agitation and depressive symptoms. Though the setting is definitely not the same as a rock concert, the nervous system really does not differentiate one type of loud noise from another and the bodily responses are typically the same.

I propose that all this light and sound overloading our kids and ourselves on a continuous basis is resulting in more childhood disorders, more mental illness, an increase in ADD symptoms and an inability to cope. It is also creating an increase in addictions. What do you do when the music stops? How do you continue to stimulate those dopamine receptors in the brain?

We are not able to sit still or find calmness in our lives. Either the tv, radio, computer (or all three) is always on prompting us to give our brains more and more excitement. It’s another addiction, just one that is accepted in society. Time to consider quieting things down for the sake of the world.

2008-02-04T16:39:00.001-08:00

ON BEING ADDICTED TO COMPUTER GAMES

So, here I am at work, suddenly bored after a very hectic day, and what do I do. You guessed it, I digress to playing Mah Jong Solitaire – my serious internet addiction (especially one lay out that drives me utterly crazy). [My boss doesn’t see and I am fast with the mouse so I can change the screen instantly.]

But, I am thinking, what a complete waste of time, energy and human potential is my addiction to this game. Afterall, one area of expertise that I have is ‘addictions.’ Yes, I counsel addicts as part of my practice and here I am addicted to this game. So, why am I doing this? Isn’t there something more productive I should, could, oughta be doing right now to improve my brain functioning. I could be exercising in my cubicle (if I had the leg room). I could be cleaning my cubbie- now that would be an improvement. But, no…..

“Just one more game and then I’m through,” I say to myself. Then, some 50 games later, I hear myself saying, “just one more game and then I’m off to bed.” At least I don’t have a laptop that I can take to bed with me – a small consolation.

How do I stop this, I ask. NEVER START comes the rip roaring answer. Oh, yes I do stop - eventually. I am able to pull myself away from the computer by the time 5 p.m. roles by, only to find myself going home and being magnetically drawn to the game on my home computer. And at night, as I fall asleep, the images of colorful tiles keep flashing onto my retina making me feel I’m having a strange flashback to the ‘80s (or is that the ‘60s).

I awake renewed, refreshed and swearing not to touch this Solitaire Mah Jong game again – only to tell myself “just one, and I’ll stop.”

And, how is your computer game addiction going????? Comment and let me know.

HEY, OBAMA, WHERE'S YOUR MAMA?

2008-01-29T10:05:00.000-08:00

OBAMA, WHERE’S YO MAMA?

Having been watching the Democrats get into issues that have little to do with the issues Americans care about (Bill Clinton’s dancing abilities!!), I have a question that no one has even approached. Why isn’t Obama giving his White Mama any recognition. I think it’s pretty amazing that we have a woman and an African American running for office. And, I will vote for one of them. (You will have to stick pins in my eyes to vote for a Republican.) But, Obama was raised by his Caucasian mother and her Caucasion parents in Hawaii, of all places. The percentage of blacks in Hawaii is pretty low. (According to the 2001 US Census bureau, only 22,000 African Americans in all of Hawaii – and it was a lot lower when Obama was living there.)

His upbringing was not in the African American community. He was, for most practical purposes, raised White. And, now, he is only Black. Where was his father when he was growing up – nowhere near him.

Now, Obama can identify with his Black heritage. That’s fine with me. But, does he EVER, EVER give his mother, who is certainly at least partially responsible for his success, any credit or even any mention. If he has, I sure haven’t heard it. He gives Oprah more recognition than his own mother.

Shame on you Senator. Who is really pulling the race card here. If you are going to bring us together, don’t divide us along race lines. That has gone on far too long already. You have a marvelous opportunity to make all the difference – please do it.

IN DEFENSE OF MANAGED CARE

2008-01-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

IN DEFENSE OF MANAGED BEHAVIORAL HEALTHCARE
by
Janeen Weiss, JD, LCSW, CEAP

As a mental health care manager for an international managed care company and a private practitioner, I am in a unique position to assess the value of managed care. If you believe the media, the only thing that comes across is that life would be perfect if there was no managed care. Many private practitioners would agree with that. But, would the life of the patient be better? That is the main question.

Everyday, in my work, I get requests for authorizations for sessions from doctors and therapists. Everyday, I get to see first hand what these providers are doing to supposedly help the patients. Many practitioners are excellent, but way too many, I’m sorry to say, are not. They see patients endlessly, regardless of the need for the patient to get care.

APA standards and guidelines, though by no means exact, suggest that certain diagnoses can be handled, or should be remedied in a certain period of time. For example, adjustment disorder is expected by the very nature of the disorder, to be handled within about 16 sessions.

Often, providers ask for 60 sessions a year– some have even requested a total of over 150 sessions. The diagnosis is immaterial. And, what of the practitioner who knows that the client has only 20 sessions a year and schedules them all up front, knowing full well that the patient will not be able to have any covered sessions later in the year if needed. A private practitioner who really wants their patient to get better will also work towards managing those 20 visits so the patient does not end up using those sessions in the first quarter of the year and have nothing for the remainder of the year and be forced to pay out of pocket.

This is NOT for the patient’s benefit. It is for the financial gain of the provider. If after 12 sessions there is no improvement, the provider should ask themselves, what is it I need to do to help this client. Not, how many more sessions can I get out of the insurance company to prolong this care.

With a few exceptions, therapy need not be interminable. When we discuss treatment plans and protocol with providers when sessions seem excessive, it is astounding how many therapists not only get angry at this, but actually do not even know what a treatment plan is. They do not have a treatment plan laid out for the patient. There are no goals, no collaborative process that has been done with the client. This is not only harmful to the patient, it is just plain poor therapy.

Of course, these providers, the ones that have poor skills, keep patients coming needlessly and endlessly, are the ones that get the angriest when questioned.
“I’m the therapist. I know what’s best for the client. How dare you question me.”

Well, if that is the tone you take with your clients, how do you expect them to get better? How are you helping them? How do they acquire the skills and self worth to handle life without becoming dependent upon the therapist? And, how many practitioners spend half of their 50 minutes with their patients complaining about managed care. Way too many.

Do not blame managed care for your inability to treat. Good care is good care, whether you get paid or not.

As for pay, most managed care companies pay a minimum of $60 for 50 minutes. That is a minimum, with prices going much higher, especially for MDs, who spend 10 minutes with a client and charge $120. How many people in the United States get paid $60/hr for their work? Few if any. That is good pay by any standards. If you are having trouble making your own ends meet, please do not blame Managed Care if your practice is not full. And, a practitioner is never forced to get on an insurance panel. You can always forget about taking insurance and charge what you want without answering to anyone.

So, what is the role of Managed Care (MC). One of the main reasons for the birth of managed care was due to out of control costs by providers. For example, 6 months hospital stays for the “worried well”. That cost was all billed to an insurance company, who blindly paid for it.

The public and companies cried out at the cost of healthcare (they are still crying out). . Insurance companies responded by only covering ‘medically necessary care’. That was the birth of the medical necessity criteria (MNC), which became the basis for receiving insurance benefits. This definitely hurt the practitioner who had unchecked and unlimited access to all health insurance benefits, regardless of necessity.

The ethical practitioner, unfortunately, got caught in this onslaught due to the rampant abuse by many unethical providers.

Managed behavioral care (MBC) companies are a business, just like therapy practice is a business. Reviews are done by licensed practitioners. Many of these reviewers (like myself) are also private practitioners. When we refer clients to providers in our network, we assess the client’s needs as well. Then we defer to the practitioner to work appropriately with the client and set goals and an agenda for treatment. The provider then requests additional authorizations for care from the managed care company after an initial set of authorizations are given. If the MBC Company receives a request for additional sessions that appears to be excessive and inappropriate for the diagnosis, we contact the provider to discuss their treatment protocol and their plans for the patient’s recovery. That way, the client’s needs are being addressed. We attempt to work collaboratively with the practitioner. We often get a lot of ‘ego’ instead.

When a patient has a behavioral health issues that is served by going to therapy, they are in a vulnerable place, relying on the therapist to guide and help them. When the therapist automatically says at the end of a session, “Well, we have a lot to discuss. See you next week at the same time”, the client agrees even if they don’t want to continue with this provider; even when they don’t like the provider. The client is often in a weakened state and is waiting, hopefully, for something positive to show up. When the provider says, ‘Well, that will take a long time. We’ll see.’ What does the patient do but believe them and think it has to take a long, long time for improvement.

This is not true. Solution focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, NLP, hypnosis, and more have shown that improvements can come much faster than traditional talk (psychoanalytic) therapy where the provider typically shakes her head in agreement without ever creating a plan or getting feedback from the client. A recent article in The Psychotherapy Networker discussed the fact that the providers who got the best results and had the most success were the ones that asked for and received feedback from the clients. If the feedback was not positive nor in the patient’s favor, the course of treatment was changed.

Too many therapists have one way of doing things and are inflexible in their treatment process. I once had a provider hang up the phone on me when I asked what his treatment plan for a very young child was. He refused to answer. Turned out, he never had one. He just wanted to keep seeing the client and watching her on a regular basis without actually doing any treatment. When that happens, who does oversight. And, on top of that, these providers triangulate the family into the picture and everyone gets overwrought and blames everything on insurance. That is NOT good therapy. This does not help the patient.

Managed Care companies are the ones that have been assigned the task to do the oversight. Someone has to. Psychiatrists over or under or improperly medicate on a far too frequent basis. Hospitals (and I could name so many names) treat mental health patients in an abominable manner. And, don’t get me started on how they treat teenagers and their families – it’s shameful and harmful.

When patients are crying out for help for serious problems, there must be some controls. Most providers are sole practitioners with no supervision or oversight. There is no one around to say, ‘you are harming this patient’ or ‘if you changed your approach, you could really assist this patient in getting better’, or even to say, ‘good job.’ The only entity around is the managed care company. You may not like it, but if you would work with managed care, you might find they are a practitioner’s strongest ally.

We are not here to dictate treatment, or to treat other practitioners like children. We are here to assist in getting the best care for the patient. At least, that is true for me and my colleagues. If your mission in life, as a therapist, is to help people get over life’s hurdles whatever they may be, and you have access to several other professionals who can assist you in your quest, why wouldn’t you utilize that gift? Saying no to that assistance makes no sense unless your bruised ego is more important than the quest to help that patient

The care manager can assist you in developing a treatment plan and suggesting alternatives to assist the client. The idea that you have to keep a client in treatment for 5 or more years has gone out with straight Freudian concepts. Remember, these care managers are also licensed practitioners with many years of experience. They do want to help the patient. It is good for the client and smart for the company.

As for psychiatrists, insurance companies have Medical directors who do oversight. If what the doctor is doing is appropriate and meets standards, there are few, if any arguments. But, where does the patient or the patient’s family go when the doctor is doing something potentially harmful, does not listen to the patient’s needs or even diagnose correctly. The patient turns to his insurance company for help. And, we do help. We have review committees, quality control committees and more to assure good patient care. And, Managed Care companies are heavily monitored and regulated by the State. MC must answer to some very strict laws or pay a heavy fine.

Yes, managed care could be improved. Yes, the needs of many Americans, especially those with mental illness and substance abuse issues, are not being fully met due to lack of insurance. To me this is inhumane, but it is due, mainly, to a company’s refusal to contract with the MCC for additional coverage. The MCC would be glad to cover it if the company would buy it. But, the costs are getting higher and higher.

So, until there is Universal Health Care (which I favor in spite of my job) or everyone in this country has access to affordable and good mental and physical care without being drained financially, managed care has its place in our society and can work in everyone’s favor.

Note: The use of the word provider is not meant to insult any practitioner. It is an all encompassing word that includes facilities as well as therapists and psychiatrists.

Janeen Weiss, JD, LCSW, CEAP, SAP has been in private practice for 10 years. She has also worked in managed behavioral care for 6 years, was an adjunct professor at University of Southern California and is the president elect of the Los Angeles chapter of the Employee Assistance Professionals Association.