I'M BACK - COMPASSION FOR CHRONIC PAIN SUFFERERS

IT'S been months since I've written. I have been sick for a good 8 months and it has changed my perception of what chronic pain can do to a person. Most of us want to run to a doctor when we have a pain. We reach for the pain meds, maybe the alcohol, any strong medications - whatever it takes to take away the horrendous and incessant pain away. It works for awhile. At the same time, the mind, mood and relationships that have always been stable have now become something difficult to deal with.
I had a pretty rough time these last 8 months. Got a severe case of Shingles. Shingles is the adult version of chickenpox. If you've had chickenpox, the virus stays in your nerve endings - basically in the spinal column - Then, under certain conditions, i.e., stress being the number one cause, bingo, the virus (herpes zostra or varicalla) gets activated and comes out with a vengeance - giving the unsuspecting victim...SHINGLES! . Other causes for this dastardly disorder are a weakened immune system - many times this is caused by medications. If you are having chemo or radiation, your immune system is weakened and you can easily contract shingles. Aging is also considered a factor, perhaps because it often weakens the immune system.
No matter what the cause, once you've had it, it is unlikely you will ever forget it. It was the most painful thing I ever had. At least, in childbirth, you have something to show for it and the pain ends. With Shingles, the pain does not always end after the blisters disappear. For me, I was one of the unlucky ones and got what is known as Post Herpetic Neuralgia, or After Shingles pain. This pain affects the nerve endings, as does Shingles. And, it doesn't let up. It kept me awake at night. I searched high and low for creams, sprays, pills - anything that would lessen the constant agony. I couldn't work and had to go on disability. I tried - but the medications either knocked me out or the pain did. For a former workaholic, this was an additional torture.
After 8 months, the pain is beginning to subside. It is at least, tolerable and I can write again and now seek work again. The positive side is it made me realize what chronic pain can do to one's psyche. I found myself depressed - losing my sense of humor (an unheard of thing for me - who can always make a joke of something), and unable to function. I laid on the couch, moaned and watched t.v. Pretty boring. It was hard to read and sleeping was so difficult. I would wake up every hour to put something on the area so I could try to get some rest. I lost weight (the only positive) as I had no appetite. Thank heavens for friends and family members who got my medications and tried to humor me. I don't think I could have gotten through the rough patches without them.
Because of the pain, I found myself seriously depressed. I have never really been depressed in my life - a few sad incidences, but nothing like this. One of the medications I took, Lyrica, sent me into a deep depression and I became close to suicidal. When I found out it was a direct side effect of the medication, I stopped it immediately and the depression cleared up in a few days. That was scary. And, the doctors never said anything about this side effect. I had to research this myself. Other medications either did not work or just knocked me out. There was so little to take for this after shingles pain.
Eventually, I found some creams and a wonderful spray at the health store that worked for me. I increased my intake of B vitamins - a must if you have shingles. Took some lysine as well. I found other items for this pain that might be able to help you. If you want to email me, I will respond.
But, a major result of all this is I have gained overwhelming compassion for those in chronic pain for whatever reason And, now, when I treat people in my psychotherapy practice, I am much more attuned to that physical pain and how it takes a toll on your mental health. So, don't be hard on those who have chronic pain. It affects every part of your being.
Be Well!!

AMERICANS HAVE NO MANNERS!!!

WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS AMERICA???!!!.

I had a friend from law school who said something that made quite an impression on me and that was, “IF YOU LOSE YOUR MANNERS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE LEFT?”

I thought about that for a long time – still do – and he was right. What are you if you have lost all your manners. Well, America, we seem to have lost our manners. Congressmen are okay with yelling out at the President, showing disrespect. Talk show hosts incite seditious actions and rioting. Try holding a town meeting and see if anyone can speak without the ill mannered yelling and screaming. And, don’t get me started on sports figures or rap artists! Civil discourse has become a thing of the past. And where has it all gotten us? NOWHERE!!

We hate each other more. We are more divisive than I can remember. During the ‘60s (which I remember well), there was incredible separation among people, with families dividing over their support for the Vietnam War. It was not pleasant, but Congress and the media never acted out the way they do now. There was some level headedness and at least a semblance of respect being shown for the ‘loyal opposition.’ Yes, there was anger, but no one ever suggested that the Presidents were Socialists or Communists or Nazis. Yes, we did have some names for Johnson and Nixon, but it was never like this. There is something more evil lurking in the vocal expressions of Americans these days and especially in the media. I hold them responsible for their refusal to act like professionals or even to just have manners and promote some intelligent analysis or maybe just tell the truth.

Our country is again filled with hatred and the only voice of civility seems to be a President who is being pilloried because of his race and his promise of change. Do I agree with all Obama has offered – no, I can think for myself. But, apparently, many Americans cannot. I grieve for my country that has lost its ability for rational, critical thinking skills and its total lack of manners.

You can disagree. That is the greatness in our country. We are supposed to be able to disagree without fear of reprisals or stigma. But, not now, Right wing speakers are literally advocating death to ‘liberals’ and those who differ. This is not America. This is not Democracy. That is fascism. That is hatred and will ultimately destroy our great country. Of course, democracy was an experiment to begin with. It’s not very old and perhaps, man cannot repress his base urges and overcome his prehistoric testosterone levels and we will all ultimately revert back to cavemen – unable to communicate at all. But, that’s probably how the uncivil, ill-mannered want it. That way they get control and know how to manipulate the average American.

When did all this start? Who knows. Perhaps, it has been going on forever; it just wasn’t as public as it is now. With the internet and all is machinations, the enormous amount of media outlets that now exist and the lack of self censorship among everyone these days, it could be that there is now the opportunity for everyone to say whatever without fear of any reprisals. The outlets may not have existed before – but then again, there was some self discipline.

And, maybe, ultimately, that’s it – NO CONSEQUENCES. You can be a criminal and get publicity, along with appearances on Oprah and other talk shows; get a book published even if you can’t write, so the world can know about your troubled life and why you were a drug addict who acted like a criminal and they can all feel sorry for you. You can be an OJ and get away with murder. You can be Congressman and get millions of dollars from constituents for disrespecting or maligning a President. You can be a lying, pill-popping talk show host who bad mouths anyone he disagrees with and becomes a powerful driving force behind a political party. NO CONSEQUENCES. You can lie, cheat, steal, disrespect, even murder these days and what do you get – Rewarded for it.

With all these Americans spouting Christianity and equating it with being American, I would think they might just want to act more Christian instead of like spoiled, uneducated, self consumed and ill mannered children.

FIND YOUR MANNERS AMERICA. YOU DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH EACH OTHER, BUT HAVE THE DECENCY TO LISTEN. IF YOU CAN’T – WELL DO SOMETHING ELSE TO SATISFY YOUR UNBRIDLED AND OUT OF CONTROL ID.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITHOUT HEALTHCARE REFORM?

For those of you who are 'so afraid' that the government is going to tell you how to handle your healthcare - please read.

First off, if you happen to have insurance right now, insurance executives, CEOs, CPAs, attorneys, are guiding your healthcare. Yes, they are determining IF you get care, how much will be paid, if you are even entitled to get any care and if they can deny care because it doesn't meet their protocols or medical necessity criteria. Everytime they deny care or limit your care, the executives pocket a lot of money. The CEOs of all the major healthcare companies each pocketed anywhere from 13 million dollars to 26 million $$ last year. So much for a recession for them. How did they do that? Lots of ways, but the ones that hit you the most was by raising your premiums and denying care along with negotiating and paying incredibly low fees to hospitals and doctors.

You have large companies deciding your healthcare and continuously finding new ways to deny your care, as well as making it difficult and painful for doctors to deal with them. In fact, more and more providers (doctors, etc.) are now refusing to join insurance panels. That means you are on the line for the cost if you choose an out of network provider. Of course, you can decide on your doctor - you just have to pay through the nose. The insurance companies decide which doctors they will pay for. So you do not get to choose now.

As far as this stupid, stupid, stupid (can I say it again) death panel rumor, if there is any death panel, it would be the current state of insurance companies who can deny your care and hasten your death. There are plenty of cases where this is true. I bet you even know someone where that has happened.

As for a public policy, the doctors I have spoken to all take Medicare and say it is the best and easiest for them. There is NO governmental police force coming in and telling them how to handle their patients. The MDs are actually free to practice medicine. On the other hand, the insurance companies manage cases on a daily basis and doctors have to ask permission everytime they want anything done before it can be done. Okay, it's not government interference, it's corporate interference. And, remember, corporations do not care about you first and foremost. They care about their bottom line and how much they will pocket - even if it is at your expense.

If there is no public policy in the health reform act, this is what will happen:
1) Your insurance policies will increase - they already went up by 87% since 2000. They are already talking about taking 20%-40% of your paycheck in premiums.
2) Insurance companies will find more ways to restrict your care.
3) Parity laws take effect in 2010, so insurance is now making their medical necessity criteria more stringent in order to find ways to deny care for those seeking mental health treatment or substance abuse treatment.
4) Your rights for healthcare will be restricted and medications that are not generic will be more difficult to fill and more expensive.

If this is what you want, which amounts to actually NO competition in the marketplace, keep being shills for the insurance companies. They and the right wing media pundits who do not think are using you to inflate their pockets. I wish people would read this and understand what is really going on. Why would people march through the streets to deny their own healthcare? It is beyond me.

If you are so dead set against any kind of public policy and government 'interference', I suggest you pay for your own police force, your own fire department (remember, if you are late for your premium your house could burn down), your own garbage collection, street cleaning, roads, and any kind of legal recourse you might have against someone who wrongs you - afterall, the justice system is also a public 'interference'. Oh, and forget about your Medicare or Social Security as you age. Let your kids take care of you.

CLARIFYING HEALTH CARE REFORM ISSUES

FIRST ISSUE: “What is this Death Squad Garbage?”

My first blog was in defense of managed care (see below). Now I need to defend a Public Policy option and the need to have a liberal and more cost effective health plan for every American. I will start off by dismissing and clarifying this ‘death squad’ issue that is utterly ridiculous and an out and out scare tactic.

There is so much misinformation coming from the ‘money grubbers’ out there and a lot of right wingers. There is no such bill or even suggestion of a ‘death squad’ coming to anyone’s home and deciding your mortal fate. The section in this bill, which was put into Medicare initially by a Republican years ago, refers to paying for consultation for those who would like to have more information about ‘end of life’ issues.

Having to deal with this issue on a regular basis with clients, let me inform you straight up, this is such an important issue that everyone should know about their options when they are young and in good health. What does it mean? It does NOT mean that anyone is going to put you to terminal sleep (even if they think you deserve it).
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It DOES mean you have the right to discuss and plan for yourself in the event that something unexpected happens to you. What if you end up in a coma with tubes attached, you have no quality of life and your care costs your family their entire savings. This happens way too often, unfortunately. What do you want done? You are not able to speak for yourself at this time. So, someone will speak for you – it could be someone you hate or never trusted. But, because YOU have never had any counseling on end of life type issues, and YOU have never planned for this while alive and kicking, YOU have now relinquished your right to determine how you want to be taken care of.

Do you want to be kept alive by all means possible? Do you not want extraordinary measures taken? Who will your medical advocate be? Do you have a living will? An ‘advanced directive’?

If you do not have the answers or the documents that answer these questions, then you would/could benefit by sitting down for free with a consultant who can inform you of options and help you determine how you want your life to be. I have an advanced directive. No death squad came to my door forcing this on me. In fact, I had to pay an attorney to draft one up.

So, now that everyone is screaming and believing Sarah Palin’s out and out fabrications, this will be removed and YOU get to pay for any consultation on this issue. Good for you- you get to support lawyers. Doesn’t that make you a proud American?

Next blog – coming soon – will be on explaining what will happen if no Public Policy Option is passed.

DOES ANYONE KNOW ENGLISH????

There’s Twitter and MySpace and Facebook and chatroom after chatroom, besides your regular emails where you can say whatever you want however you want to say it. Because of this, it has come to my attention that nobody can write (or speak) proper English anymore Here all these people complain about Mexicans crossing the border, but they can speak English better than most of the Americans I have been reading. It’s pathetic. Besides the abbreviations, which you have to spend an hour figuring out, there is a question of grammar. It’s like these chatters are saying, ‘who cares if my grammar sucks. I’m so important that however I say it is okay.” (Of course, they would actually be writing it in abbreviations and more like –“ IDC, TBFU, I can say whatever I want.”

Phooey, I tell you!! We have created an entire culture of narcissistic, entitled idiots who do not know a verb from an adjective and don’t even talk to them about subject and predicate. They’ll never get that. It's bad enough that our educational system has gone down the tubes with kids graduating from high school with a perfunctory ability to read and write these days and having to go to a Community College to take a remedial writing class before they can take a college course. But, when they say things like “I HAD WENT…” Oh, save me. This phrase makes me want to pick up my Strunk and White and slap someone across the head with it.

For those of you who think this is correct English, think again. Try I had gone, he had gone, you had gone, or you went, we went, they went. You don’t use had with went. Where did you learn to say this??? . I even heard some teacher using the phrase, ‘he had went’ on tv the other day. I am going to puke. Nobody corrects them. Every statement, no matter how inane or incorrect is just accepted.

This is not okay, I tell you. IT’S NOT OKAY. You sound stupid. Your family sounds stupid. You make everyone around you look stupid. Your friends must be stupid too. Learn how to speak, read and write English correctly!!! If not, I am going to had went crazy!!!!

SOCIALISM VS. CAPITALISM – MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHOOSE

What do you think this definition refers to? “ An economic and social system under which essential industries and social services are publicly and cooperatively owned and democratically controlled with a view to equal opportunity and equal benefit for all.”

Sounds pretty democratic doesn’t it. Well, my friends, that is the definition of Socialism.

Socialism advocates government ownership and control of natural resources, basic industries, banking and credit institutions, and public utilities. If we had that, which we will, this mess caused by a capitalistic, greedy, unregulated banking industry would not have happened. The current administration is trying to correct this monetary fiasco by taking control. Most everyone seems to be giving high fives on this. Yet there are those who scream SOCIALISM – as if it were a death knell to America. This is so far from the truth as to be laughable.

One of the biggest problems these days is that the media and Congress keep excoriating (look it up) Socialism as if it was this venal system that may invade the US. Just an FYI, readers, socialism has, is and will always be a part of the US way of life. In fact, it is now what people are begging for. The difference is, it’s been the large corporations who are making a stink about our heading toward ‘socialism’. Yet, it is because they are getting TAX dollars that these corporations are surviving. That, my friends, is socialism.

Free enterprise or capitalism works just fine as long as those who propound it are getting government funds. It’s a joke. There is not one, not one large corporation in the country (at least not that I know of) that does not get taxpayer funds for some project. These companies would not survive if they did not get money from the government – your money. Of course, they scream the loudest. If true capitalism prevailed, why would these big honchos need to smooze Congressman, give them money to get elected and sponsor them for many a special outing? They wouldn’t. They do it so laws will be passed in their favor (not true Capitalism or Democracy) and so they will get preferential treatment when it comes to getting government funds.

Let’s get one things straight, SOCIALISM IS NOT COMMUNISM. Democratic socialism is the form of government that respects its citizenry and has humane policies. Why, in this, the richest country (or at least it was) can we not treat our citizenry humanely? Why do we equate someone having healthcare, a good education and a safe environment as the right of only those who work and pay taxes – and even that isn’t always the case.

Labor unions, women’s right, the right of the disabled, an 8 hour work day, overtime pay, health coverage are all considered Socialist reforms. If you want true CAPITALISM and FREE ENTERPRISE, get ready to lose all your benefits and for those who want to know why no one helps you in your time of need, know that CAPITALISM does not promote assisting those less fortunate. It’s every person for himself. If you believe in no socialist reforms, think about what your life would really be like. You might want to rethink your political as well as your religious convictions. A nice blend of capitalism and socialism may be the only way to go to survive in a healthy, caring country.

STOP BEING SO STUPID!!!

STUPID FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS AND ANGRY AMERICANS!!!

I know I am not alone in expressing my anger and frustration over the bail out. I am a big Obama fan and am thrilled the Republicans did not get elected again. I am angry at the way those so called ‘conservatives’ messed up the financial situation along with the moral fiber of this country for the last 8 years. And, to hear them pontificate about how irresponsible the current bail out package is is laughable, considering that the Bush administration opened the US coffers to their buddies and told them to dig in. And, they all did – including Ms. Conservative Sarah Palin.

But, that said, I still see that the current package has minimal oversight just like the previous bailout package did. Why are they now screaming about the AIG execs getting millions in bonuses. Those in charge could have and should have prevented that when AIG got the bail out initially. And, what about these banks- still no oversight.

I want to know why the banks continue to raise our interest rates when we are bailing them out with our money. The bankers have already proven how irresponsible and utterly stupid they are by how they handled their accounting and yet, they still want us to pay more. If they were smart at all, they would lower the interest rates on credit cards for everyone and get the credit business moving again.

In fact, the government should demand that banks set a maximum percentage they can charge – like 10% - on any and all transactions. What is this business with 24% or 36%!!! You can get a better deal with a loan shark.

To not address this issue is another oversight by inept politicians and greedy bankers – and a get rich quick card for the banks and a ‘screw you’ to the taxpayer.

So, scream, holler, write your Congress person. Don’t stand for less oversight. Don’t stand for banks taking you for all they can get. They need us!!! We have laid down and let AIG, COUNTRYWIDE, FANNIE MAE, FREDDIE MAC AND ALL THE BANKS, just roll over on us. If they are giving away our money, these institutions need to start giving back to those who are saving them.

Before too many people get really, really angry and don’t care what they do – the government and bankers need to become human and above all, STOP BEING SO STUPID!!!